And there is a great deal to correct in my measurements, and there is no point in despairing, becaus
"Wound under wound" - to charge accidentally as intentionally and rape as will.
In damages to a person, even what a person does inadvertently must be punished.
The letter I wrote yesterday was out of confusion and melancholy and emptiness, and after learning a bit and from studying I see how stupid and irresponsible it was - how much it must have hurt you for nothing.
I have nothing to justify - just ask your forgiveness from the bottom of my heart, and the sea I write, not because I'm afraid to speak, but because it's burning me and I can not wait.
And I take comfort in only one thing - that reality is solid and safe and more than all kinds of fleeting moods.
Do not be angry or sinful - when a person admires and his state of mind is disturbed, he may very much sin and destroy. In a moment of alienation to oneself, all that one strives to build. And there are no justifications - accidental accident.
And even if he distorts what cannot be corrected, he must repent and take upon himself a grave acceptance for the future. And I take upon myself, without a vow, not to speak and not to criticize and not to torment, but out of a real Torah, then the mind is honest and healthy and the picture is seen as a whole and also the emotions and imaginations find their place.
It's hard to explain, but after delving into the issues of the laws of Hoshen Mishpat (whether obligatory on fire because of half or because of him) all life seems completely different, and it's clear to me, and Rani wants you too to be clear, that the things I wrote were from a mix of storms and mental defects only.
And there is a great deal to correct in my measurements, and there is no point in despairing, because inside there is something that all storms and falls do not touch, and one only has to work with courage and diligence to live it.
There may be a lot to talk about and I don't have much, I do not know, but I ask for your forgiveness.
Your loving husband
post Scriptum. My parents are not coming tonight
נ.ב. הורי אינם באים הערב