She wanted to see what she looked like in that dress. She was not interested in the rules of modesty
We need to be very careful about the dignity of the child.
I will give an example and from that I will explain it: Saturday has come, the girls arrive at the studio dressed in Shabbat clothes, and a daughter arrives dressed in a very immodest outfit. Unbelievable what she chose to wear. One can stand and think: What is happening here? What is she trying to prove? What a revealing instinct this daughter has. From this thought and this observation, one can also come to her with harsh arguments and say: 'Look what you look like? You dress so cheaply 'and so on. But, you have to get used to looking with a good eye, teaching right, discussing right.
Most girls who go with immodest clothes, do not do it out of evil instinct, rather they are looking for a definition, they are looking for themselves.
Let's think about that girl who wore the immodest outfit. What was she thinking when she went to measure the garment in the store and then also bought it.
We would not choose to take a dress with short sleeves, etc. to the dressing room, but she did take. She wanted to see what she looked like in that dress. She was not interested in the rules of modesty at that moment, it was not what was on her mind, she wanted a garment that she would be happy with, that she would feel good about. Then she measures it and she likes it. She does not see the short sleeves, she "cheats" herself a little. She sees the beauty in the garment, she sees what is in it, she does not see what is not in it. She loves this outfit, she loves the way she looks in this outfit - and she chooses it.
If we now come and tell her all sorts of harsh expressions: 'What are you doing? Do you know what you're doing here for all the boys? Is this the garment you chose to wear for Shabbat? '- We're doing damage! We break something in this daughter and hurt her.
Such a response is not uttered out of deep thought, neither out of educational thought nor out of modesty.
This does not mean that this garment "passes" that can be worn in the studio or elsewhere. You can comment, but I beg you - treat with respect, you touch the girl's soul bird. We need a good eye, we need to know and believe that our good eye affects education no less than the words we say.
On the other hand, we must remember that if we look at the girls and think badly of them - it is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We are on the way, in the middle of the road, and we must believe in the process. We do not expect reality to be complete by now, but we do expect progress, efforts. And on the way - need a good eye.
From "FromThis Rock"